Saturday, December 10, 2011


          Have you ever thought about what you have done with your life? Have you embarrassed it or lost it? Or have you lived it exactly how you wished, without having regrets? Because you can’t answer this question, you look for a place where the answer will show itself. A small and empty room, four walls covered with spider webs, appears somewhere in the imaginary world that you create. Above you a beautiful chandelier sends light around the room and you are pushed inside by the warm breeze.
 When you enter the room you are astonished by the candles that surround you. The days of the future, represented by small rows of lighten candles, are in front of you like a pearl necklace that shines brightly. These candles are golden, warm and alive. The days of the past are left behind, like a poor row of extinguished candles; you can still see the smoke coming out of last week’s days. How different are these candles, cold, melted and twisted; it makes you sad when you think of their first shining light, and you turn your back on them watching closely just the lighten candles. You go through the rows looking at each candle, feeling the warmth they give away, because you are too scared to look back and see how fast the string of dark candles stretches and how quickly the number of extinguished candles increases. 
 Yet, driven by curiosity, you will turn around and you will realize the time you lost, which is much more than you imagined, and you will seek an exit. You will try to look for a window in that room where life is presented in a way that is both ironic and funny, by candlelight. If you will find one, and if it will open, it might comfort your tormented soul. After a lot of time spent in this childish game of hide and seek, when other candles will say goodbye to the fire that gave them life, you will realize that you are actually afraid of the window that you seek because you don’t know what is on the other side and you think that that light may be a new torment.
 Now you are watching closely a red candle and then you see another, and another… and you realize that those are the moments when you said you would change yourself; that you will leave and never come back in the past. You said that you will find a better city, a bluer sea. You said you won’t be staying here where you see around only the wasted and destroyed years that seem black ruins of your life. And yet, you are still lying here, as if you are sentenced to life in a prison that you built and you own the keys, but you are too afraid to use them. 
 You sit down, contemplating, and thus the monotony starts. A monotous day follows another, identical, and thus the candles will go out one by one without you noticing anymore. You will do the same things again, moments coming and leaving without you paying attention. You will lose opportunities, hopes, dreams, possibilities, and finally you will lose yourself. The last candle will become like the rest of them: cold, twisted, small, its flame barely flickering, and a day which you will call “today” will end by no longer existing a “tomorrow”.


  1. I certainly feel the pathos and the hopelessness in this writing. Good job. I think like this frequently, but then a person I can't even remember comes up to me and tells me what a huge impact I've had on his life. You should write about the candles you can't see. God does. He shows me I always forget the important achievements he did through me and I through him, especially the ones that haven't happened. I often dwell only on my failures and find myself worshiping the wrong God.

  2. Thanks a lot for the advice. I will think about adding that to the story too. You are right about what you said. I mostly wanted to bring out the fact that many people lose time with choises. But what you said is true and I will try to add that. Thanks again.