Sunday, December 11, 2011
Tick Tock…and the seconds melted to dust…
She walked slowly, dragging her feet through the white sand. Her shiny brown eyes were watching the sunset beyond the horizon. The sky was a swirl of pink, orange and blue, being very similar to a waltz between two lovers. Eva watched in awe until everything turned into Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”.
“Every living thing in the galaxy has a single shining star inside of it.” Thought Eva, “but which one is my star? Are there any more beyond the glass that surrounds my world?”
Unknown to her, Eva was a special girl. She was the girl that would fight for her dreams until they became reality. But she would only find this out later. For now, her world was simply gray. She felt like a stain that not even the biggest eraser in the world could clean. Her biggest wish was to color the world and herself and break the glass wall that stood between her and freedom.
Time slips so quickly….
She was surrounded by darkness. The sun she once loved had disappeared. That second was the kind of moment that told her that she should forget about dreams and come back to the real world. But Eva could not do that. She was surrounded by silky ropes that could not be untied, thus keeping her captive in her imaginary world…in the world of dreams…in a world that would never be real.
“Nobody dares to be truly sad, nobody dares to be truly happy. We find ourselves in a strange world of life and death…half life…half death. By our choices we decide towards which half we are going.”
Suddenly, Eva heard noises that became louder. She knew what was to come: her world would be shaken and snowflakes will fall while a pair of eyes will watch the scene. A few seconds later she started dancing through the white sand and in the rain of snowflakes, wishing for her dream to come true… “Freedom…how nice it sounds!” But she then met the stunning green eyes that watched her.
“You like seeing birds trapped in cages, don’t you? How cruel can you get?“ thought Eva.
After a few more shakes, sounds started to subside.
“It’s so strange how all sounds simply turn on and off, on and off, like that game of ‘Musical Chairs’; a game where I am always out; a game where I am always…just…ME.
Time has a way of pulling people apart…
There was a time, long ago, when Eva was truly happy. It was the time when she had a friend. The first owner of the snow globe, which is Eva’s world, was a little girl called Amy. Eva fell in love with Amy’s blue eyes, and with her smile. Amy would always talk to Eva through the glass wall and when she shook the globe, Eva felt like a princess lulled by gentle waves.
But one day, Amy decided to move to a new house and forgot about Eva.
“You appeared, but disappeared just as fast. Just like a demon. And even if you disappeared, the illusion that you were here stays. I don’t regret the fact that I met you, Amy! Past things will always stay in the past, and the future heals through present. At least, I hope so. I still hope. I am sure you are not a demon.” These are the words that Eva wanted to tell to Amy. But she never got the chance.
Blinded by tears, sobbing in darkness, feeling herself empty on the inside, she became am empty shell and closed herself from any other feelings. “Pain fades away with the flow of time.” But Eva wasn’t looking for a cure. She just wanted to be happy again.
One day, Lucy, whom was now the snow globe’s owner, came and shook Eva’s world. She had tears in her eyes. Eva felt a bit upset and decided to dance in the snow. She didn’t know how much time she spent dancing but when she looked up at the girl, she was astonished to see her smiling. Just because Lucy watched her, she became happier. Then, the girl placed the globe on her nightstand in front of a little mirror. Eva looked at herself surrounded by the glass walls and saw something written on the snow globe's support: “I offer you this hoping that it will make you as happy as it made me. Amy.”
Eva was stunned. She understood everything the wrong way. Her world wasn’t gray at all. On the contrary, she was the one holding all the colors and she had to color the lives of others. The glass walls were protecting her from the bad things that could stop her from sending colors out, and not trapping her inside.
“Humans are weak. But weakness is not a bad thing. Due to their insecurities they use things like my snow globe in order to form ties and stay strong. If I believe in tomorrow and step forth, I will live a strong life and that means that I will be able to smile! I had given up on people because I thought that they only bring sadness. But I am actually the light, and the glass is the prism, and together we form the colors. I used to treat my life as something insignificant and I forgot about the things I love. I made a great mistake. The painful memories are the ones that become the seeds of tomorrow and make us strong. Until now I thought I was the princess locked up in a tower and I was waiting for the prince. But actually, the world outside the glass wall is the princess and I am the knight in shining armor. I promise to always bring happiness whenever my world shakes. And thank you Amy for being my friend and bringing out my true value. Feelings aren’t visible to the eyes, but you, Amy, made them visible through the gifts you made. Thank you!
With these words, Eva tied a ribbon in her hair and smiled. She wanted to change who she was and show her confidence to the world. She found the magic that the snow globe possessed. “ I want to show the world a different me!”
From that day on, Eva kept dancing and playing with the snowflakes whenever her world shook. Owners of the snow globe kept changing. Blue eyes turned to green than to gray and brown and back to blue. But the one thing that stayed the same was Eva’s smile. The snow globe is still bringing happiness and painting the world. I know it because it has a special place on my nightstand and I watch its beauty every night until I fall asleep.
Tick Tock…and seconds melted to dust…
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Have you ever thought about what you have done with your life? Have you embarrassed it or lost it? Or have you lived it exactly how you wished, without having regrets? Because you can’t answer this question, you look for a place where the answer will show itself. A small and empty room, four walls covered with spider webs, appears somewhere in the imaginary world that you create. Above you a beautiful chandelier sends light around the room and you are pushed inside by the warm breeze.
When you enter the room you are astonished by the candles that surround you. The days of the future, represented by small rows of lighten candles, are in front of you like a pearl necklace that shines brightly. These candles are golden, warm and alive. The days of the past are left behind, like a poor row of extinguished candles; you can still see the smoke coming out of last week’s days. How different are these candles, cold, melted and twisted; it makes you sad when you think of their first shining light, and you turn your back on them watching closely just the lighten candles. You go through the rows looking at each candle, feeling the warmth they give away, because you are too scared to look back and see how fast the string of dark candles stretches and how quickly the number of extinguished candles increases.
Yet, driven by curiosity, you will turn around and you will realize the time you lost, which is much more than you imagined, and you will seek an exit. You will try to look for a window in that room where life is presented in a way that is both ironic and funny, by candlelight. If you will find one, and if it will open, it might comfort your tormented soul. After a lot of time spent in this childish game of hide and seek, when other candles will say goodbye to the fire that gave them life, you will realize that you are actually afraid of the window that you seek because you don’t know what is on the other side and you think that that light may be a new torment.
Now you are watching closely a red candle and then you see another, and another… and you realize that those are the moments when you said you would change yourself; that you will leave and never come back in the past. You said that you will find a better city, a bluer sea. You said you won’t be staying here where you see around only the wasted and destroyed years that seem black ruins of your life. And yet, you are still lying here, as if you are sentenced to life in a prison that you built and you own the keys, but you are too afraid to use them.
You sit down, contemplating, and thus the monotony starts. A monotous day follows another, identical, and thus the candles will go out one by one without you noticing anymore. You will do the same things again, moments coming and leaving without you paying attention. You will lose opportunities, hopes, dreams, possibilities, and finally you will lose yourself. The last candle will become like the rest of them: cold, twisted, small, its flame barely flickering, and a day which you will call “today” will end by no longer existing a “tomorrow”.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Te gandesti cateodata la ce ai facut cu viata ta? Daca ai injosit-o sau pierdut-o? Sau daca ai petrecut-o asa cum ai dorit, fara regrete? Pentru ca nu iti poti raspunde, cauti un loc unde raspunsul ti se va arata. O camera goala si mica, numai patru pereti inveliti in panza, iti apare undeva in lumea imaginara pe care tu o creezi. Deasupra ta arde un frumos candelabru. Camera luminata este cuprinsa de caldura dogoritoare a candelabrului ce te face sa inaintezi parca impins de un vant puternic.
Intrand in camera observi cu stupoare ca esti inconjurat de siruri intregi de lumanari. Zilele viitorului, reprezentate de siruri mici de lumanari aprinse, se intind ca niste margele rasfirate pe o podea lucioasa. Aceste lumanari sunt aurite, calde si vii. Zilele trecute raman in urma, ca un jalnic sirag de lumanari stinse; ultima saptamana trecuta o poti vedea inca fumegand. Cat de diferite sunt aceste lumanari, reci, topite
si-ncovoiate; parca te intristeaza si gandindu-te la amintirea licaririi lor prime te intorci cu spatele urmarind cu intensitate lumanarile aprinse. Inaintezi printre siruri cat mai aproape de lumanarile calde, pentru a nu te ingrozi cand vei vedea ce repede sirul intunecat se lungeste si cat de repede lumanarile stinse sporesc.
Si totusi, manat de curiozitate, te vei intoarce si iti vei da seama de timpul pierdut, care este mai mult deca ti-ai imaginat si vei cauta o iesire. Vei incerca sa cauti o fereastra in acea odaie unde viata este prezentata intr-un mod amuzant de ironic si anume prin lumina lumanarilor. Daca vei gasi una, si se va deschide, va fi o consolare. Dupa mult timp petrecut de tine in acest joc copilaresc de-a v-ati ascunselea, in care alte lumanari spun adio focului ce le dadea viata, realizezi ca de fapt iti este teama de fereastra pe care o cauti pentru ca nu stii ce este de cealalta parte si te gandesti ca acea lumina poate fi o noua tiranie.
Te uiti acum intens la o lumanare rosie, apoi zaresti o alta, si inca una…si iti dai seama ca acelea sunt momentele in care ai spus ca te vei schimba, ca vei pleca si ca nu te vei mai intoarce in trecut. Ai spus ca vei gasi un oras mai bun, o mare mai albastra. Ai spus ca nu vei mai sta aici unde nu vezi in jur decat anii irositi si distrusi ce par niste ruine negre ale vietii tale. Si totusi inca zaci aici, parca condamnat la o viata intr-o inchisoare pe care tu ai construit-o si ale carei chei tu le detii, dar iti este teama sa le folosesti.
Te asezi jos, contempland, si astfel porneste monotonia. O zi monotona o urmeaza pe alta, identica si astfel lumanarile se vor stinge una cate una fara ca tu sa-ti ami dai seama. Aceleasi lucruri le vei face din nou, clipele venind si parasindu-te fara ca tu sa le bagi in seama. Vei pierde ocazii, sperante, visuri, posibilitati si in final te vei pierde pe tine. Ultima lumanare va ajunge ca restul, rece, indoita, mica, flacara abia palpaind, iar o zi pe care tu o vei numi “azi” se va sfarsi prin a nu mai aparea un “maine”.
You look at me…
What do you see?
Do you listen or do you judge?
Do you forgive or hold a grudge?
If you knew I was alone…
Would you find me a new home?
If you knew I was in tears…
Would you drive away my fears?
If I was a withered flower…
Would you come and give me a shower?
If I would always wait in vain…
Would you come for me in rain?
If the sky wouldn’t be blue…
Would you give it back its hue?
If a song cannot be heard…
Would you buy me a new bird?
If a wolf cried at the moon…
Would you make it laugh so soon?
If white clouds were drifting by…
Would you ask the question “Why”?
If the wind would be wild…
Would you feel like a newborn child?
If you were to be Mother Earth…
Would you make me feel it worth?
If I always love the night…
Would you make me embrace light?
If I tell you “I’m your friend”…
Would you stay with me until the end?
Do you know that I have long since forgotten how to laugh as if I was having fun? It may seem as a direct way of starting but I don’t know the meaning of “beginning “or “end” anymore. I don’t know when I start to pretend and when I am myself. I don’t remember how my real laugh sounds; I only know the sound of tears, dropping on the floor. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed nature the way it is without other black thoughts clouding my judgement.
I feel like an oak standing lonely on a hill. Birds come and go quickly like my happy moments. Clouds are always above the oak, but sometimes they are so black that you forget if its night or day. Squirrels that made home in its bark are always arguing, saying that the tree is not good enough. And of course, there are always the termites. These are the ones that never leave and destroy the tree inch by inch, making it die slowly. They make it suffer until the tree can’t defend itself anymore. I’ll let you figure out by yourself what people are these.
My bark is already cracking, and other trees, if they were in my situation, would fear and believe the end is coming soon for them. But not me. I adore life, and I believe in many things that others don’t and that’s what means “Think Pink”. And this oak hides the fact that, the special trees and animals that care for it, are the reason why this oak stands proud on top of the hill.
Look at the lifeless creature,
Sitting lonely in the dark.
I would love to have its picture,
So it can forever leave its mark.
It smiles slightly, but it’s fake,
I bet it cries inside in vain.
How much laughter will it take,
To make it smile wholeheartedly again?
It looks at me with glassy eyes
As if asking for something that I have.
Where on earth are those keys,
That unlock the secrets of the cave?
Through the dark I reach for it,
Its little hand grabs mine silently.
Now I think I understand it;
The thing it wanted me to know so badly.
Long ago, in another past,
When skies were blues, and grass was green
And I was a child, playing in the dust,
It was my friend, and has forever been.
But now, today, I’m old and stupid;
I never saw what was missing inside.
I forgot about the puppet shaped as a cupid
That has always been by my side.
I look carefully at it again;
The smile I knew had returned.
And now, I bow my head in shame
Hoping time will be reversed.
I whisper to it in silence,
Telling it that I am sorry
And that it will forever be in a special place,
By my heart; So the puppet shouldn’t worry.